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“A
grandmother is a little bit parent, a little bit teacher, and a little
bit best friend.”
Who is the one family
member that out of everyone…aunts, uncles, moms, dads, cousins, siblings
etc…that everyone has a fond place set aside in their hearts for? Why,
it’s none other than Grandma! I don’t know anyone who doesn’t have at
least a few good memories of their grandmother, unless they weren’t
lucky enough to have known her. I was fortunate to have both of my
grandmothers living close by all through my childhood. Grandma Penny as
we called her was my paternal grandma. Her name was actually Ruth, her
maiden name had been Pendexter, and so the nickname of Penny stuck with
her the rest of her life. Grandma Penny was the typical grandma you
think of when the word is spoken. She was a stay at home wife and
mother, she was a bit plump and did the normal grandma things like
knitting and crocheting. I recall many a Sunday, following church, when
we would head to Grandma Penny’s for roast beef. I don’t know why it
was always roast beef, but it was. Theirs was also the house we went to
on Christmas Eve…when I was really little, we would watch out the big
picture window, waiting for a glimpse of Santa and sure enough, he would
knock on the window then come into the house bearing his huge bag of
toys. No toys were distributed until Santa got a kiss. I, being a
horribly shy boob, took a long time to break down and bestow that kiss
upon Santa’s cheek. My Aunt Vernyce and Uncle Don and cousins were in
on the festivities, but it never occurred to me until years later that
Uncle Don never seemed to be around when Santa showed up!
My other grandmother, Grandma Myrtle, was so the complete opposite. She
was quite a trendsetter back in the late 1920’s…she was married and
living in San Antonio, TX with two daughters ( a two year old and a
newborn, my mom), when, for reasons unknown to us, she left her husband,
took both girls and headed north to SD to keep house for her uncle.
She later remarried and had two more kids. She was widowed before I was
born and moved in with my parents out in Denver, and then followed them
back to SD when I was born where she lived with us on the farm. She
would drive to a neighboring town to work as a waitress at a café each
day and when she drove into the yard, all 30 or so cats would
attack…they knew she was bringing home scraps for them and they wouldn’t
let her out of the car until she threw some out the window. When I was
five we moved into town and Grandma Myrtle bought a little house just
down the street from us. She was my babysitter while Mom worked and we
had many hours of fun playing Scrabble and Yahtzee. I don’t know how
much fun it could have been for her to play Scrabble with a five year
old who couldn’t spell, but she did. Now, before you get the
impression that she was a jolly, fun loving grandma, I’d better let you
know that she was pretty grim. She didn’t smile a lot and she didn’t
like silliness. I enjoyed watching the “I Love Lucy” show in the
afternoons, and Grandma Myrtle didn’t suffer fools, which is what she
considered Lucy to be. She didn’t like me watching that show and
usually made me shut it off. One of her favorite phrases was “I’ll
blister you, sister!”…she never did, it was an idle threat, but it
sounded like she meant business. She was very independent and was
quite handy. She and I would walk the block down to the lumberyard and
she’d buy nails, boards, etc…then she proceeded to build her own kitchen
cupboards and even built the back porch on her house! One time she did
hire her next door neighbor, Joe, to repair her roof. He wasn’t too
speedy, so one day she told me that if Joe didn’t finish up today, she’d
kick his butt. I thought she wanted the message relayed, so out I went
to tell Joe of his impending painful ass-whooping. Grandma was pretty
embarrassed when she heard me repeat the threat! She could also bake
and made the best long johns and caramel rolls ever! When I was a bit
older we would go on trips together. Many times we hopped on a
Greyhound bus and headed up to North Dakota to visit her daughter, my
Aunt Florence and family in Mandan. The first time I ever flew on a
plane was with my grandma, on a trip out to Denver to visit more
relatives. She would sit facing ahead in her seat and instruct me not
to talk to anyone. Other passengers would be chit chatting away, but
not Grandma Myrtle. She would sit stoically silent and straight faced
all the way, We laugh often about how she would pose for a picture.
Someone would say “SMILE Myrtle” and she would say ‘I am smiling” with a
grimace on her face. In spite of her outward grouchiness, she really
was a very nice lady and I have many fond memories of all the time I got
to spend with her. She ended up moving out to Denver to live nearer to
her siblings and suffered a stroke and was put in a nursing home where
she died in 1981.
Another one of my favorite grandmas wasn’t even my own. When I was in
kindergarten I met a girl named Denene who lived on a farm near Doland.
We became fast friends and luckily she had a grandma that lived in
town. Her name was Grace Paul and she was a saint! She lived on Main
Street in a little apartment that was attached to the hardware store.
Grace often let Denene spend the night with her and during this winter
that we were in kindergarten, I got to stay over, too! During the night
it snowed and snowed and when we got up in the morning Grace made us
Cream of Wheat and toast (this was her trademark breakfast) before
heading out into the cold to walk to school. What happened next is one
of the best things that can happen to a kid…Denene and I got to school
and our teacher, Mrs. Hanson, told us that school had been cancelled.
We were free to go! Is there a better feeling in the world? Great for
us, not so great for Grace who had us horsing around her place all day,
but you’ll never find a better sport than that lady! Later on, Grace
moved into a little house about a block away and whenever Denene came to
stay with her grandma, I was usually there, too. I am a grandma now,
and I can’t imagine letting Peyton come stay and bring one of her nutty
friends along, but Grace never said no. When we were probably in the 1st
grade we were complaining about the heat, so Grace went to all the
trouble of getting out a big old washtub and set it out on her back
stoop, filled it with water and let us go in for a dip. While
splashing, here came a big dog into the yard and we hollered and
hollered until Grace came out to see what the matter was. We weren’t
scared of the dog, just bored and trying to get Grandma Grace riled up.
She chased the dog away and went back into the house. As soon as she
was out of sight, we called the dog to come back and coaxed him into the
tub of water. The big black dog was happy to get in and beat the heat,
but we once again started yelling and this time Grace called the
police! Denene and I hadn’t counted on that, but we laughed and laughed
as we watched that poor dog being carted away in the back seat of that
police car, staring at us through the back window. We never considered
what would happen to it; hopefully the cop let it go and didn’t have it
put to sleep! Tricks were the highlight of our stays at Grace’s house.
Not too many elderly women would find the humor in some of the crap we
pulled, but Grace never complained. When the phone would ring, Denene
would wait for Grace to answer, then would pull the chair out from under
her as she attempted to sit down. Looking back that sounds horrible, but
I don’t think she ever let her grandma fall, just gave her a good
scare. Another favorite was setting an alarm clock to go off at 3 AM
and tucking it under the pillow on Grace’s bed. Denene stuck stickers
all over her toilet seat, and it seems that she even stretched plastic
wrap over it one time! Whenever it was mealtime we would be instructed
to say the grace. Grace would say” OK girls, say grace” and we (as if
were so clever) would shout “GRACE!!!” to which Grace would always
reply, “now girls, that is irreverent”…so Denene and I would recite this
prayer she had in her china hutch, something about walking a mile in
moccasins, thinking that was pretty funny. Grace had a neighbor lady
named Lena Motley and she often came over in the evenings to join in a
rousing game of Chinese Checkers…if Grace made the mistake of getting up
to fetch coffee or something, we would move her marbles back so that we
could win. See what I mean about patient? I’m sure she knew we were
doing it, but she was a good sport. One particular summer night, Grace
was in charge of two other grandchildren, Carol and Paula who were
little. Denene and I were also spending the night and there were storm
warnings issued for our area. Oblivious to the danger, the two of us
took off and got involved at a neighbor’s house, not knowing that bad
weather was approaching and Grace was becoming frantic. She had gotten
in her car with those two little girls and searched for us for a long
time. When she finally found us, she was pretty upset. We got in the
car and headed home to play Chinese Checkers with Lena. There was
terrible lightening and rain, then the siren went off, signaling a
fire. We watched as the fire trucks tore out of town and we begged
Grace to follow and see where the fire was. Like the saint she was,
Grace loaded all four kids, herself and Lena into the car and away we
went. The rain was pouring down as we turned onto a gravel road in the
pitch darkness. It was obvious that is was too muddy to follow the fire
trucks, so Grace backed into an approach to turn around, but the car
slid into the ditch. We were stuck! That was way before such a thing
as cell phones, so the only option was to walk for help. Lena wasn’t
able to walk far, so that left Grace. She put on her coat and headed
down the road for help. By some miracle, there was Ellis G. Flint who
enjoyed scouring the town dump for treasures (obviously even at night
during a storm) and she was able to flag him down. He drove his Jeep
over and got the car pulled out. Poor Grace was soaked and had walked
nearly a mile in the rain. That was quite an adventure! That lady
deserved a medal for all the crap we did! Denene made it up to her
grandma later in life when she had Grace come and stay with her and her
family.
Now Denene and I are both grandmothers and have all these fun things to
look forward to. What kind of a grandma will I be? Will I be the
traditional plump, jolly grandma? Well, I’ve got the plump part down
already…will I be stern yet fun? Yes, I do tend to scold my two
granddaughters for making messes in my new house, but they also get me
to dance, color, play hide and seek, and all kinds of things that I’m
too old to do. Will I be as good natured as Grace and be someone all my
grandkids would want to bring their friends for sleepovers? I can only
hope! They say “what goes around, comes around” so maybe the two of us
had better learn to check under our pillows before bed, never leave a
game board unattended and for God’s sake, keep an eye on that chair when
the phone rings!
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