Marcie "Mom" Glanzer's Column
Sunday, March 5, 2006
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2.27.06
I just finished reading Ryan’s latest daily log and was so
inspired by his “10 Things I Don’t Like” list, that I have decided to add to
that, 10 of my own dislikes. It shouldn’t be hard, since I can think of a lot
more than 10…anyway, here goes.
1. Fish…I wish I liked to eat fish. They are very high in something
that’s supposed to be good for a person, and I have tried eating fish, but I
can’t for the life of me say that I like it. Occasionally, I will partake in
shrimp, but it has to be battered and deep fried to a greasy crispness before I
will eat it. That pretty much deletes any good benefits. We went out for supper
the other night to celebrate Alex’s big “18” and I ordered shrimp. It was OK,
but I noticed these gross veins hanging out when I took a bite, so that may be
the end of shrimp for me.
2. TV shows where you watch some guy hunt. Or fish…sorry Calvin (my
son-in-law)! He could sit in front of a television and watch such antics for
hours, but it would be a form of torture for me to have to view someone else
killing a defenseless animal. By the way, TLC is OK, but my mainstay is HGTV.
You can’t beat Candice Olsen on “Divine Design”…check it out!
3. Wind…what a rotten place to live when you hate wind, but South Dakota
is windy more days than not. In the first place, it messes up what little
hairstyle I may have had. Also, we live on a gravel road and a south wind means
that every time someone drives by, the dirt billows up and flies right through
the cracks and crevices of our house, of which there are many. It also wreaks
havoc on my laundry hanging on the line in the summer, getting the clean clothes
all dirty. Add to that the fact that there is a turkey farm 2 miles south of us
and a stiff wind brings along a putrid odor.
4. Cigarettes…I have to agree with Ryan, I dislike cigarettes with a
vengeance. I always tell Dick that if he ever wants a divorce, to just take up
smoking and I’ll be gone. I had to put up with inhaling second hand smoke all
throughout my childhood years, due to both parents smoking, and that is enough.
I’ve noticed that people who don’t smoke seem to attract the smoke from others.
For instance…a few years ago, Dick played on a pool league and every year they
would have a get together with the players and wives at a bar for supper. Out
of all these people, Dick and I were the only 2 nonsmokers in the whole bunch!
When our food came, I was trying to protect it from the cigarette smoke that
blanketed our table, but each bite tasted just like smoke. I didn’t want to be
rude and fan the smoke away, but it seemed that whenever someone would light up,
the smoke headed right for me! My theory is that I am gasping for air and the
intake of breath is pulling the smoke my way.
5. Snow…again, what am I doing living in South Dakota if I don’t like
snow? Well, it’s where I was raised and will always live, snow or not, but that
doesn’t mean I have to like snow. It is kind of pretty right at Christmas time,
but then it sucks. It is messy, dangerous to travel on, cold and really ugly
once it starts to turn dirty. Expensive, too, for road crews to remove.
6. Politics…BORING!! If I had to watch something like “Face the Nation”
I would probably fall asleep. I know that’s not right, I should take a keen
interest in what the lawmakers of our land are discussing, but I don’t. What I
think means nothing to them, and vice versa.
7. Scales…the kind you weigh yourself on, not the fish type. Mainly,
because they always put me at some ungodly weight that can’t be right. I try to
exercise faithfully, and then I’ll make the stupid mistake of stepping onto a
scale out of curiosity, and see that I’ve gained 4 pounds! That really stinks!
So to assuage my disappointment, I’ll go make a pan of brownies. Stupid scale.
8. Farm Magazines…this has nothing to do with their content…I’m sure
they are filled with all kinds of useful info that every farmer needs. My
complaint comes with the sheer number of them that are produced. You wouldn’t
believe how many come in the mail each month. There is one for every specific
facet of farming. Angus cattle, cattle producer, black angus, red angus,
soybean digest, corn digest, Top producer, Farm Journal, Prairie Grains, Beef,
Farm Industry News, The Cattle Business Weekly, the Tri-state Neighbor, Farmer
and Rancher Exchange…My personal favorite is Manure Manager. No joke, this is
real! I’ve only touched on a few, there are so many. Now, before the farmers
out there come back with the fact that there are lots of women’s magazines too,
let me say that these farm magazines come to every farmer most without having to
pay anything. At least the women’s magazines are only through subscriptions and
there are far fewer in the mailbox.
9. Shania Twain….Sorry to all you Shania fans out there, but I don’t
like her music. AT ALL! If I have the radio on and a Shania song comes on, I
have to flip it immediately. I don’t know what it is about her, but it is kind
of like fingernails on a chalkboard. Also, Dwight Yoakum (sp?). The song
“Inside the Pocket of a Clown” almost makes me nauseous. I can’t explain it,
and apologies to all their fans.
10. Necco Wafers…Some of you youngsters may not know what Necco wafers
are…a type of candy that comes in a roll and they are thin pastel colored wafers
of chalky, gross candy. I only added this as it is very unusual for me to
dislike any kind of candy. I like anything sweet and fattening and bad for me,
but not Necco wafers. They have one in the roll that is black, well, gray
actually and it is flavored like black licorice. Yuck!!!!! Oh wait, I did
think of 2 more candies I don’t like; those pink wintergreen lozenges that old
ladies seem to always have in their purses, and circus peanuts. Gross!!
So there you have it…a few of my dislikes, so now you’ll know what not to
buy me for Christmas next year. If I happen to commit a horrible felony, you
can print this out and give it to the judge who will sentence me to be locked in
a room with several heavy smokers, the only reading material will be farm
magazines and speakers blasting out Shania Twain and Dwight Yoakum. My one meal
a day will consist of fish and for dessert, a circus peanut. It would be enough
to make me go straight forever!