Marcie "Mom" Glanzer's Column
Monday, September 11, 2006
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09.11.06
"Halloween Memories"
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With September now but a distant memory, we head into October which can mean
only one thing to anyone under the age of 12…Halloween. It is a holiday that I
loved as a child and hated after becoming the mother of 3 children. With this
holiday fast approaching, I felt it was the perfect time to reflect on past
Halloween goings on. (Going ons??) Whatever…
When I was little, many years ago, Halloween was worth getting excited about. We
weren’t like all the youngsters of this generation who snack on candy all day
long, with pop as a staple of the daily diet. A holiday when sweets were given
freely and could be gorged upon was quite a treat. I can remember going to the
grocery store in Doland which was called the “Red Owl” (I don’t know where that
name came from) and as Halloween neared the candy shelves were filled with some
seasonal goodies not seen any other time of year. One that stands out in my mind
is a wax harmonica that was orange and could really be played. There was a black
label on top with a picture of a witch and a black cat. After playing a few
tunes on your waxy instrument you could then peel off the label, chew it up and
it turned into chewing gum for a few minutes, then dissolved into a disgusting,
waxy mess that was best spit out. But it was still quite a treat.
Our Halloween costumes were pretty crappy by today’s standards, but it was still
exciting to go to the Ben Franklin store and pick one out. One year, my mom took
it upon herself to grab two costumes, one for me and one for my brother, Stuart
who was a year older than me. We weren’t consulted on this momentous decision
and were stuck with what she had brought home. One costume was Fred Flintstone
and the other was his neighbor, Barney. Which do you think was the costume of
choice? Who would want to be Barney, the second fiddle to Fred? Neither one of
us, that’s who…and a huge fight ensued. This was an hour before the trick or
treating was to begin, so finally, for the sake of getting more candy, (and to
avoid having the holy crap beaten out of me), I gave in and went as Barney. We
put on those plastic masks, which became unbearably sweaty and clammy after two
minutes of breathing into them. The eye holes never quite matched up with our
real eyes, and the plastic vest that was the “body” of Barney ripped 10 minutes
into the festivities, but the fight and the cheap costumes were soon forgotten
as our bags of loot grew. Living in a small town, all the kids knew the best
houses to hit up, which ones to be avoided, and made a beeline to the best
treats before they were gone. One such house that couldn’t be omitted was that
of Marian Hahn, a woman who went to a ton of work each year crafting suckers
made of caramel with faces on them. She would set a table up in her porch and
kids were free to pick their favorite. The big test would be to see if you could
actually make it home with the sucker intact. They invariably would be broken
into 12 pieces by the time the night was over. Then, after arriving home, the
loot would be dumped out and the best candy was picked out. The worst junk,
usually those peanut butter taffy candies in an orange wrapper, were given to
dogs or parents. Also, apples, oranges and other healthy treats were quickly
disposed of. Those were the days!!! No checking for razor blades or hypodermic
needles embedded in the Snickers bars…just unwrap and devour. The good stuff
couldn’t be saved or my brothers would steal them when I wasn’t looking.
Especially Stuart…I will have to write a column on the abuse he dished out over
the years, but later.
As I aged, the Halloween fun became more about soaping windows, toilet papering
houses and egging vehicles than it was about the candy, but of course I was
never party to any of these shenanigans.
Then came marriage and kids and the holiday that once brought such anticipation
and joy, now brought frustration and dread. For one thing, we lived out in the
country, so any trick or treating meant Mom driving all over in the dark, trying
to keep 3 kids from fighting and smearing their makeup on the car seats, and
finding costume parts in the dark and tripping over sidewalks in dark yards…the
list goes on and on. And the costumes became more elaborate and expensive every
year. Nobody was going to be satisfied with Fred Flintstone at the Glanzer
house…OH NO…I guess that when Ryan and Jordan were really little, I did put
their costumes together with things I had around here. Like the time I dressed
them as Raggedy Ann and Andy…they were so cute!! I had sewn a giant set of dolls
for Jordan and used the clothes off of them for her outfit, then found some
things that worked for Ryan. We went to the carnival in Willow Lake for the
first time that year. I was so excited to enter them in the costume contest. The
children were to walk out on stage and let the audience get a look at their
costume, and then the judges would decide the winners. Sounds simple, right? I
hadn’t thought to enter them as one entry, I had Ryan as one entry and Jordan as
one, and that meant that Ryan would have to walk out onto the stage alone. I
couldn’t go with him since I had to stand in line with Jordan as she waited her
turn. Poor Ryan…he got out there and was scared of all the people and burst into
tears. His makeup ran and he looked pathetic. When it was Jordan’s turn, she and
I walked out, she with her thumb in her mouth and she got oohs and aahhs from
the audience…as a result, she won a prize and Ryan didn’t…more tears. When Alex
wasn’t quite a year old, I dressed him in a pair of Superman PJs and stuffed the
arms full of fluffy fiberfill and he was adorable! And it didn’t cost anything!
Then they got older and they figured out that it wasn’t cool to be Raggedy Andy
or wear your pajamas on Halloween. One year, Alex had his heart set on being the
Green Power Ranger. I could easily have walked into K-Mart and purchased a Power
Ranger costume for $9.99, but no…I decided that Alex would have the costume of
the century…and I would sew it myself!! I went to the fabric store and bought a
pattern and by the
time I had the fabric, thread, buttons and all the other crap that you need to
sew, it came to over $60. Well, I had to take it since they had already cut the
material, so chalk that one up to stupidity. Then the fun began. Part of the
costume was made of gold lame` which is a very delicate, slippery fabric…it was
the shiny part of the costume. I needed my mouth washed out with soap after the
sewing machine knotted up 658 times while sewing that stuff. It took me an
entire month to sew this freaking costume, the last part being the Velcro that
held it all together. But my $#%%^&@ machine wouldn’t go through the Velcro, so
back to the store to get some self adhesive kind. There went another $15…now the
costume was up to $75 and my time spent on it was worth another $250. That was
one expensive costume, and I swore to God that Alex was going to be a Green
Power Ranger until he was 30 years old. The big night came and Alex put on his
costume, only to discover that the Velcro wouldn’t stick…his boots fell off, his
hand pieces fell off and the back wouldn’t stay together. Needless to say, he
never wore it again. Are you beginning to see why I hate Halloween?
Well, the children are now grown and gone and there are no more little ones to
get ready for the big night, and no kids stop at our house for treats…believe it
or not, I kind of miss the chaos and commotion. But, I do have two
granddaughters who are at the right age for dressing up, so that will have to
suffice. And who knows…maybe Dick will let me dress him up in some Superman
pajamas and I can be his Lois Lane!