Marcie "Mom" Glanzer's Column
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
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People falling down…nothing is funnier (is that a word?) to
me than someone tripping, slipping, stumbling…you name it, if someone is
falling, I’m laughing. My whole family is aware of this and knows a bout of
hysterics is in the offing when I witness such a mishap. And I don’t just laugh
at others who have fallen, I laugh at myself, too. I was lying in bed the other
night, trying to catch a few ZZZs, but having a bit of trouble falling asleep
and my mind drifted off to times gone by when I had seen some crazy falls. I
was trying not to laugh aloud since my husband was snoring soundly next to me,
so instead I just shook, suppressing the laughter until that eventually woke him
up. I was remembering one particular time when I was in high school and my mom
had recently had back surgery. She is the “Martha Stewart” of the family and
can’t sit still if there is a cobweb in a corner, or a speck of dust on
something, so of course she couldn’t stay in bed and rest. She decided to move
furniture around. Not wanting to rip her stitches out, she persuaded me to
assist her in moving our console television. I lifted one end, she the other
and we were doing OK until she caught her foot in the cord! She lurched across
the room, her arms pinwheeling wildly and smashed into the closet door. I know,
it was awful of me, but I burst into uncontrollable laughter and practically
peed my pants. Mom was OK, but she didn’t see what was so funny.
After giving it some thought, I don’t think the fact that she tripped was so
funny…it was the expression on her face, the look of stunned horror and the
flailing arms. Even now, 30 years later, I can’t help but chuckle just thinking
about it. I know I’m not the only one who gets a kick out of people falling.
In fact, 2 of my best childhood friends were the same way. When we were in the
6th grade we had a teacher who was pretty ornery. She had a glass
eye that would stare in one direction and the other would look the opposite
way. You never knew for sure if she was watching you cheat on a test, or
looking out the window…anyway, she was pregnant with her first child and was
quite a bit overweight to begin with so had problems with balance, I suppose.
We students were grouped together in 3’s, myself with these 2 girlfriends. The
teacher was coming around her desk when she stepped on a piece of wood and
slipped backwards, hitting her head against the trashcan. The room was silent
as we waited to see if she was OK. As she got up off the floor she looked at
the 3 of us and said “If you think it’s so funny, then go ahead and laugh.”
Wrong thing to say…we busted out into hysterics and there was no stopping us,
each causing the other to laugh harder. One boy said “It isn’t funny, you guys”
which made it that much more hilarious. Again, it wasn’t funny that she fell,
but the look on her face was priceless!
As I mentioned earlier, I don’t just laugh at other’s clumsiness, I have had my
share of spills, too. Back when I was in jr. high my mom was an avid seamstress
(Martha Stewart again). She sewed a one piece jumpsuit type of garment for me
that was very dressy and perfect for wearing to church. It had big flowing
sleeves and legs, brightly flowered print if I remember correctly, I’m sure it
flattered my ample figure. To set the scene…it was Christmas Eve and the church
was packed for the annual program. I had worn my beautiful jumpsuit and after
the program was visiting with friends. Our church had an entryway that had a
set of stairs leading up to the church and steps leading down to the basement
and kitchen area. Following the program people were filing down the steps to
leave, my mother among them. Suddenly she realized she had taken a hymnal with
her. Not wanting to go back up the stairs, she called to me to come get it for
her. As I took a step towards the stairs, my heel got caught in the hem of this
crazy jumpsuit and I sailed headlong down those stairs in front of everyone. I
lay at the bottom in a crumpled heap and a concerned man rushed over to help me,
assuming I was crying, but alas…I was laughing hysterically again.
Another time was when I was in high school and another friend and I drove to
Clark to watch the Snowqueen festival. We sat at the very top of the bleachers
and the stupid contest lasted like 4 hours, so naturally, when I stood up, my
legs were weak and they gave out on me. I tumbled down the entire flight of
bleachers, landing in the foot area of the bottom bleacher. The lights were on
and a whole section of Clark kids hooted and laughed at me. I couldn’t be
mad... I was laughing at myself.
I may be growing up, though. Not long ago we were shopping in Huron and came
out of Lewis Drug only to see a poor woman trip over the concrete thing you park
against and she fell sprawling on the pavement. I could see my husband give me
that look that said “Oh my God…she’s going to have hysterics and this poor woman
has broken her hip!” But I surprised him…and myself! I went over and helped
her up, not even cracking a smile. She turned out to be unhurt and went her
along her merry way. I was so proud of myself! I had conquered my childish
habit!!! Until I got in the car and started to relive the moment…but I resisted
and only cracked a mere smile. Maybe I HAVE “found the growing up tree” as my
dad would say!