Marcie "Mom" Glanzer's Column
Monday, May 16, 2005
Archives
4.7.05 4.14.05
4.29.05
Thoughts to Ponder
It's about time for a new column, so I've been thinking about what subject I would tackle this time around. I don't want to embarass Ryan again with more stories of his youth. I haven't had to clean the dog's butt lately, so that's out...I do have lots more pet peeves I could pass on to you, but my kids thought I overdid that one, so what's left? I suppose I could relate some of my inner-most thoughts...those that come to me during my long, monotonous daily drives on the mail route. Will it bore you? Probably, but you may also find these things thought provoking.
For one thing, I often drive by roadkill...pheasants, rabbits, gophers and the infamous skunk. That got me to thinking about the skunk's pungent odor. I wondered about a skunk that was dead on a well traveled roadway. Is it's stink infinite? Or does each car that goes by, carry away some of the stench? It seemed logical to me that as each car drove off, filled with the skunks odor there would be less smell left behind. I posed this theory to my son, Alex, who thought, first, that my question was stupid, but also that the smell is no less with cars driving by. I can't quite figure that out...it seems there should be a finite amount of stink and it should dissipate with each vehicle that carries some away. (Now you are getting an idea of how bored I get out there on the prairie all by myself?)
Another query of mine is our eyesight. I tried to explain this to Alex again (and again he didn't get it)...but here goes. I wondered if we all see things the same way. For instance...when we were babies we were taught that when we see something like an orange that we are to say the color is orange. So, from then on, everytime we see something that color we call it orange...but do I see orange the same way you see orange? Or am I crazy and this makes no sense and should I just concentrate on getting the right mail into the right box?
I've also come up with some really great ideas for inventions. One I had is quite a good idea, and I am proud of it, though I realize it is far too costly to ever be viable, but is still a good idea. This one makes my husband nuts...he thinks it's really stupid. Here it is...picture this...you are a farmer and have a quarter of land. You are always worried about the weather. Is it going to hail, are we going to have a drought? What if it doesn't quit raining and you have to get the crop combined? Don't worry---it's "Field Shield" to the rescue. This is a retractable system that goes over your field. (Sort of like the Metrodome ). When it's raining you can raise it up and it will cover the field so your crops don't flood. All the extra rain runs off into an underground storage system that you can use when there's a drought. It would again be raised over your field and sprinkle down on the wheat or whatever. When a hail storm threatens, up goes the field shield. No more hail insurance to buy! There are lots of pluses to my system...of course the cost to install it over several hundred acres is astronomical, but hey...I had to come up with the idea. I can't be expected to finance it, too. Another great idea I had concerns my fear of my children driving on icy roads. I imagined a few different solutions to this dangerous peril. One is to have solar panels all along the highways. Ice would never have a chance to freeze on the roadways (again, spendy, but what is human life worth?)...or how about having 2 gravel trucks go in a row. The first one would have the standard plow, but on the back of the truck is this huge blow dryer type of thing it would be melting the ice and snow. Then the truck that followed would have another scraper and another blow dryer to finish it off! Think of the lives saved!!! I have more ideas, but I have a feeling that this is getting a bit long and I don't want to risk boring anybody.
I just renewed my contract for another 4 years of delivering the mail, so that should give me plenty of time to come up with more ideas. Either that, or someone may read this and have me committed to an asylum which would also give me lots of daydreaming time! Please sound off on Ryan's discussion board if you think my ideas have merit...or if you have an opinion on the skunk issue. Until next time, remember...USPS...we deliver for you!
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