Tis the season for all things creepy and as anyone who knows me well can attest to, I love to read books, the horror genre once being my favorite.  As I’ve matured, my tastes have changed, but some of my most horrifying moments were, in part, thanks to books.  The scariest book I have ever read was back when I was in sixth grade or so and it was new at the Doland Public Library.  My friend, Nadine, and I were excited to get our hands on this new book that was being talked about all over…it was called “The Exorcist” and we didn’t know much about it other than that it was touted to be very scary!  Well, we traipsed uptown to the library only to be told by librarian Dolly Kline, that “The Exorcist” was no book to be read by two young girls and she wouldn’t let us check it out.  We went back to Nadine’s house and told her mom, Ruth, about it and she signed a note giving us permission to read the book.  (Atta Girl, Ruth!)…  Back we went and, somewhat grudgingly, Dolly let us check out the book.  I can remember this part vividly…we settled in on Nadine’s couch, side by side, and began to read silently, turning the pages as each of us finished reading.  It didn’t take long before we were getting really scared, but didn’t dare set the book down, we had to keep going.  The trouble now, was that we were too scared to sleep alone…so either I stayed overnight at her house or she at mine.  We would lie awake, listening to every little sound, certain that we were going to be possessed by the devil.  Even after we had finished this book, we were sure that we were the next to be possessed by Satan.   Nadine’s neighbors, Renee and Roger Flint were just as goofy as we were and since their parents were always working at night, that became our favorite place to hang out.  Their house had once been a doctor’s office and upstairs was a former operating room, so we could get our imaginations running wild over dead patients’ ghosts in the house and séances and other crap. I can remember one dark and stormy night; everyone decided they would like some Pepsi.  Since there was none at the Flint’s house, someone had to walk uptown and get some.  Guess who was chosen?!  They even made me a necklace with garlic and a crucifix to wear just in case, to protect me as I ventured down the dark alley, the ½ block to the café. 

It wasn’t just us that were obsessing over “The Exorcist”…it was a nationwide hoopla and the movie came out soon afterward.  I couldn’t wait to see it, so my brother, Stuart and I drove to Huron but were denied admission since neither of us was 18.  I did eventually see it and once again, had nightmares for weeks.  That creepy music from the movie, called “Tubular Bells” could scare me to this day.  In fact, a couple of years ago I was on my way to work in the dark and there was a thunder storm in progress, so I was tensely watching for deer and  lightning , when what should come on the radio but that horrible song!  I about crapped my pants! 

Besides “The Exorcist”, anything by Stephen King was able to keep me awake more nights than I care to remember.  In high school I couldn’t wait to get my hands on the latest by King.  I loved reading “The Shining”, “Carrie”, “Christine” and “Salem’s Lot”.  If you have never read these, I think they are his better works.  Simpler, but pretty darned scary.  I can still get scared thinking about the scene in “Salem’s Lot” where the 2 brothers are heading home through the woods and a vampire gets the younger brother.  Not long afterwards, the older boy is lying in his bed on the 2^nd floor when he hears tapping at his window.  He goes to see what it is and there is his little brother, floating in the air with fangs and glowing eyes and a gruesome smile.  YIKES!!  I never look out of windows at night, simply because of that.  Especially if I am upstairs!!  Then there is the scene in “It” where this boy is looking at a picture of someone (I think this is his little brother that drowned in the sewer) and the eye in the picture winks at him and the mouth smiles!  Can you imagine anything creepier?  I’ve been to a lot of movies that are scary, too, like the Freddy Krueger type, or Nightmare on Elm Street and they do make me jump, but they aren’t nearly as scary as something as simple as a wink from a picture. 

I can scare myself, without any help from anyone else.  For instance, when I get up in the night to go to the bathroom I must pass by the room where our computer is.  The screen faces the doorway and when I walk by I can see either the screensaver or the desktop picture, but I start to let my imagination run away with me and think, “What if I looked over at the computer and there was someone staring back

at me, like someone I knew who was dead or some creepy face like Reagan from The Exorcist?”  Then, what if a voice came out of the speakers?  I make a fast dash to the can and hop back in bed.  But sometimes, the toilet is the scary thing.  I have often imagined sitting down, half asleep, only to have a hand come up out of the toilet and grab me, or maybe a snake would be coiling upwards, ready to sink his fangs into the ample flesh. 

Supernatural things aren’t all that can scare me, either, as my family can testify to.  If there’s one thing I HATE, it’s someone jumping out and shouting “Boo”.  It sucks and I’ll rip the balls off the next male that does that to me (that’s one of Jordan’s old threats to Ryan and it seemed to scare him)…a favorite is to sneak up on me when I assume I’m alone in the house, vacuuming, and tap me on the back or be right behind me when I turn around.  Alex loves to come thundering through the trees, roaring like a rabid bear, while I’m on the mower and have no clue he’s nearby, nearly giving me a heart-attack…my neighbor, Terry Wicks, did the same thing last summer, except he was in his pickup.  I was mowing the ditch, which takes a bit of concentration to keep  from tipping the mower over on myself, when, from out of nowhere comes this blaring horn mere inches behind me and my first thought was that I had hit something with the mower.  I spun around and there, nearly touching the mower, was the bumper of his pickup.  Oh, he was laughing his head off!  After I finished dumping my pants out, I gave him heck.  Don’t ever sneak up on a woman and scare her and assume she’ll find it humorous…she won’t.  If you choose to ignore this warning, then for God’s sake, protect your balls.  I used to tease Ryan and tell him that people from long ago were buried in our basement.  It was all in fun, but our basement really is creepy.  I had to venture down there just this afternoon to flip a breaker and it took every ounce of courage to do so.  I even took my digital camera down to capture the feeling.  The steps are crooked and narrow, just the place for a demon to be hiding under.  One false step and wham!!!  I could fall and be knocked unconscious (or worse yet, be crippled but still conscious) and have nobody find me for hours down there amongst the spiders and other creatures.  It gives me chills just thinking about it!

Books, people, and basements aren’t the only forms of fright for me.  I have encountered a few things while delivering mail that rate right up there.  One time, I was to begin delivering mail to a box that hadn’t been used in a few years.  No big deal, or so I thought.  The first day I drove up, opened the box and stuck my hand in with the letters when I spotted something big and round near the back of the mailbox.  It took a second or two for me to realize that this ball was moving…it was a HUGE nest of mice and the babies were coming out of the nest…I froze for a split second, then tore off down the road, never shutting the box.  I swore I would not deliver mail there until somebody cleaned the box out.  It was the grossest thing EVER….This summer I was doing laundry and walked out into our porch to open the dryer when I noticed something dart behind the dryer.  It was too big to be a mouse, too small for a cat, so that left rabbit or rat and I didn’t think a rabbit would come in our house.  So what did I do?  I ran out in the yard and screamed and swore and jumped around out of sheer disgust.  I figured if there was one rat, there must be a whole family of them and I was ready to move.  I even tried to get the dogs to go in the porch, but they wouldn’t do it.  Later that day, I witnessed the dogs crouching down and pouncing on something near the dryer vent.  It was a gopher…somehow the stupid rodent got in the foundation and made itself right at home in the porch.  My screaming must have scared it half to death and it went out, only to be attacked by two dogs.  I felt a lot better knowing a gopher was in my house rather than a rat.  One more rodent story before I end.  We lived in trailer house years ago and I got up really early one morning and climbed into the shower, my eyes were mere slits.  I had my hair all sudsed up, when I noticed some movement out of the corner of my eye.  I looked down and there was a mouse, in the tub with me, running around and around searching for an escape from the shower…Now my eyes were wide open and I was out of that tub and screaming for dear life.  Dick, my hero, came rushing in with the only weapon handy, a pair of pliers and began striking the tub, finally killing the mouse, but not before cracking the fiberglass.  GROSS!!! 

Well, enough of my scary reminiscences.  It’s nearly time for bed and now I’ve gotten myself all worked up, I probably won’t sleep a wink.  I sure as hell won’t look out the window or take a shower or look at a kid’s picture.  I wonder if we have any garlic? 

Check out these awful pictures from the basement at the old Glanzer house!

Click to see the full-size versions.