Marcie "Mom" Glanzer's Column
Friday, June 30, 2006
Archives
4.7.05 4.14.05
4.29.05 5.16.05
6.4.05 6.12.05
7.31.05 9.14.05
10.20.05 10.26.05
11.22.05
12.07.05 1.20.06
2.27.06 3.5.06
3.27.06 4.03.06
4.26.06 6.9.06
6.18.06
The Best
Ba-tation Ever!!
Va|ca|tion (va ka`shen), n., v.—1. a time of rest and freedom from
work; freedom from school, business, or other duties; holiday;
Months ago, Jordan began planning a trip to Rapid City, anticipati
ng
meeting face to face with a woman who was part of her “November Mommies” group
on a Yahoo…all women who were expecting babies in November of ’05. She had
become good friends with several of these women, and when she heard that one of
them, Jenny, would be in Rapid City in June, the two of them began hatching a
plan to meet in person. Jenny was married and had a son named Cameron and a
baby named Connor, who was only one week older than Emerson. What fun would be
had!!! The children could meet and play and the mothers could see how each
other’s baby was progressing. Jordan eagerly planned her trip. At the time the
planning stage began, I think she had imagined her husband, Calvin, going along
with her, but as it turned out, he would be working with the Upward Bound group
at USD and she was on her own. That’s when I stepped up to the plate. I hated
to think of her driving all that way on her own with 2 little girls. So, I
arranged to take Friday and Saturday off work, Dick put 2 new tires on the Chevy
Venture, we loaded up on treats, blankets, bottles, formula, extra clothes,
sunscreen…you name it, we had it! Peyton was so excited!! For days she told
anyone who would listen that she was going on a “batation”. I, not being born
yesterday, corrected her and said “no, actually we’re going on a trip, not a
vacation”. (See above meaning taken directly from The Worldbook Dictionary). A
vacation is restful and relaxing, a trip is going somewhere. I wasn’t foolish
enough to think it would come close to being a vacation.
So, as soon as I got home on Thursday afternoon, we took
off. Our plan to keep both girls up all morning panned out as they soon drifted
off to dreamland and we cruised along, undisturbed for miles. When we got to
the 1880’s town, we pulled in to switch drivers and change diapers. We thought
about going through the tourist trap, but found out they wanted cash, so off we
went. Neither of us knew our way around Rapid City, but we found our hotel with
no trouble, and felt pretty darned smug. Who needs men? We were doing just
fine on our own! Friday morning we loaded up the van and set out to do some
serious 
sightseeing. Most of you who don’t have small children, have no idea
how much work goes into packing enough bottles, diapers and miscellaneous junk,
but it isn’t easy. Then to lug children to the van, strap them into car seats
against their will, and try to drive on unfamiliar roads with “Cinderella”
blaring from the DVD player, I trying to navigate with a map that was upside
down and you have chaos. Our first stop was “Dinosaur Park” which is really
just some concrete statues, but it was free and Peyton loves dinosaurs. It is
located on a very narrow, twisty road and when we got close we spotted a gift
shop and snack bar. Jordan thought that was where we should park, but I, being
the intelligent one in the bunch said, “no, I think you can keep driving and go
right up to the dinosaurs”. So, she keeps going and obviously I was wrong…the
twisty road was leading us away from the park, so where are we going to turn
around? My solution…back up! It sounded easier than it was. For one thing,
it’s hard to drive around a twisty, narrow road going forward, but backwards is
twice as hard. And there was no way to tell if there was traffic coming from
around the bend. By the grace of God we made it and after a few minutes of
checking out the long neck and sharp tooth, we were off again.
This time we headed for Reptile Gardens. We knew that Peyton would love to see
the alligators and turtles, and she has always loved snakes. We forgot that a
toddler’s attention span was microbial, and we raced from one exhibit to the
next, barely taking in any of the attractions. Being hungry, we decided to take
a break and went to Ruby Tuesday for lunch. Everything looked good and we ate
way more than necessary, then
saw the dessert menu! Tall Cake…it sounded too
good to pass up. Layered chocolate cake with mousse in the middle, topped with
ice cream, whipped cream, Oreos and chocolate sauce. We said we’d all share
one, and when the waiter brought it, we about crapped our pants! It was huge!!
Did we leave any behind? Heck, no. I think baby Emerson liked it more than we
did! Back to the sightseeing…our next stop was Old MacDonald’s farm which was a
big hit with both girls. After an hour of petting animals and such, they were
exhausted, so we came up with the idea to take a drive through Keystone and go
past Mt. Rushmore. It would give both kids a chance to nap and we could calmly
look over the scenery. I mentioned to Jordan that we should fill up with gas
first, but she assured me the van would go many miles on 1/8th of a
tank. She didn’t take into account that going up steep hills would use more
gas, but it’s her van…who am I to say? We enjoyed the drive up through the
hills, and snapped some pics of Mt. Rushmore through the window since we weren’t
going to pay $8 to park and haul the children up to view the presidents. The
gas gauge was getting perilously close to “E”, so Jordan thought perhaps we
should turn around. But where? I searched for a scenic overlook to pull into
while she maneuvered the roads. “There” I shouted, spotting a few cars parked
along the road…”pull in there and turn around.” She did as instructed, and
that’s when we saw the sign that said “authorized personnel only”. She put the
van in reverse and stepped on the gas, but the van rolled forward, not
backward! Ahead of us was a sheer cliff…a drop-off into nowhere and nothing
between us and it! “What am I going to do?” she asked, looking as though she
were about to mess her pants. “Try it again”, was my brilliant reply and when
she did, we once again rolled ahead. Now I was panicking…if we rolled over the
edge, who would ever find us? We aren’t even supposed to be parking here, so
nobody would think to search for us in this area. Jordan pointed out that we
wouldn’t die immediately, either. We would live through the terror of plunging
headlong into oblivion until the impact of van and mountain. I was prepared to
jump out and take both girls with me and let her try on her own, but that seemed
a bit cowardly, so my next piece of advice was “Gun it!” She kept her foot on
the brake, put it in reverse, and then gunned it only to hear me shout,
“Stop…someone’s coming around the curve!” We tried again, and this time the van
shot backwards and we lunged out harm’s way. Looking back, I could see that the
wheels had been in a big rut, which was causing us to roll forward. We were
both shaking and ready to head back to civilization when the low fuel light
began beeping. We were several miles from Keystone, but it was all downhill.
She was sure the van could make it. Then we started worrying about our brakes.
If they gave out on us going downhill, we would be killed! They didn’t and we
weren’t and we made it to a gas station with way overpriced fuel, but I bought
it anyway.
“Let’s get back to town and go to the mall to relax” Jordan suggested. Sounded
good to me…we got back into town and were following a small red car through an
intersection, when from out of nowhere, the driver decided to hit his brakes and
make a right hand turn. Jordan hit her brakes and slowed down, then the idiot
decided maybe he wouldn’t turn and just sat in the middle of the intersection
with his thumb up his butt. Jordan slammed on the brakes and swerved at the
very last possible second and we came within millimeters of smashing into this
car. Everything went flying in the van, both girls woke up and we came to a
stop, by some miracle nobody had been in the lane next to us. Unscathed we
shakily continued on to the mall. We needed some serious calming down. Nothing
like some shopping to revive a couple of women! We took turns pushing Emerson
in the stroller, carrying Peyton, going from store to store until we were pooped
out. It was time to go back to the hotel. “Give me my keys” Jordan said. “ I
don’t have them, I thought you did” was my reply. “No, the last time I saw
them, Emerson was chewing on them, I thought you’d put them in your purse”.
No…I hadn’t. We were sitting on the hot asphalt next to the van, no keys, two
kids, the sun setting and we knew nobody to call. I took the baby and headed
back into the mall. I would do some asking around, someone is sure to have
found the keys and turned them in. An hour later, exhausted from carrying
Emerson, no keys had been turned in at any of the stores. I dejectedly went
back to the van to report the bad news. Jordan and Peyton weren’t there….I
happily thought they must have found the keys and were sitting inside!!! But
no, there were no heads in the van. Now I would have to go looking for them. I
had left my cell phone with her, so I couldn’t call. Then I spied something
wonderful. In the back of the van were our sacks from shopping! That meant
that she had found the keys! I looked up and here they came. She had found
them in my purse two minutes after I had left, but couldn’t find me. Thank
God…again! We went back to our hotel, went swimming, then I went out and got 4
wine coolers. I figured we deserved a break after our hectic day, but we were
too tired to drink them.
Saturday morning was the big day…we were going to Storybook Island to meet Jenny
and her family. We got there a bit early, so we put the kids in swings and
prepared to wait. Jordan suddenly thought about sunscreen. She didn’t want
Emerson to get burned, so she ran back to the van and left me in charge. In the
five minutes she was gone, all hell broke loose. First, Peyton wanted out of
her swing and lost a shoe in the process. I couldn’t put it on her because I
feared Emerson would topple out of her swing if I turned my back, so I pulled
her out, set her on the ground and tried to help Peyton. That’s when Emerson
tipped over and smacked her head on the ground. She was crying like her life
was ending, so I had to forego the shoe tying and comfort her. I decided to put
her in her stroller and when I went to buckle her in (safety first!), I
accidentally pinched some skin on her stomach in the buckle. Now we had
hysterical crying. Tears flowed from her little eyes as I tried to console her,
an elderly couple stopped to assist, Peyton tried to help. Within minutes, I
had ruined the whole morning. And to top it off, Jordan couldn’t find the
sunscreen. Emerson finally cried herself to sleep, and the rest of the morning
went off without a hitch, unless you count Peyton falling backwards out of a
chair at Culver’s and getting hurt. From there it was homeward bound. Six
hours of driving lay ahead of us, but that seemed like child’s play after all we
had been through. The rest of the trip was uneventful, praise the Lord. We
made it home and felt like kissing the flat lands of eastern South Dakota.
It was truly a trip I won’t soon forget…Jordan made a new friend of Jenny,
Peyton became very attached to a bar of soap in our hotel, she even named it
“Soapy” and I made really good friends of a few wine coolers on the trip home.
Now, if someone asks me if I went on a vacation this summer I can honestly
answer an emphatic “NO”!!